Right or Relationship
I saw a post of my friend celebrating his wedding anniversary, and it caused me to take pause and reflect on my marriage and marriage in general.
In a throw away world, where everything is thrown away and nothing is repaired, it is quite miraculous to see a marriage that has found root among the valley of thorns.
If the TV breaks, throw it away and get a new one. If the lamp breaks, throw it away and get a new one. If the marriage breaks, throw it away and get a new one. Everything is thrown away these days. To be privileged enough to see another marriage growing and thriving is quite a blessing for us folks who have chosen to repair our marriage when it breaks occasionally, as all relationships do. No relationship is perfect, but they are worth repairing.
Seeing another marriage thriving renews are steadfastness and focus on our marriage. Your marriage, for good or bad, is an example that is not without consequence. Throwing it away has consequence for that young couple that is struggling, and it has consequence for that couple that is doing great. Whether the marriage endures also has consequence for marriages outside of your own. Should that young couple see you throw your marriage away,or if they see yours survive, it may be the deciding factor for whether they burn their marriage to the ground, or they burn the ships and refuse to let their marriage die.
Throwing a marriage or relationship away is basically telling the other person, "I don't need you or want you in my life any longer." Sometimes that is a necessary response where the marriage or relationship is abusive in one manner or another; but by-and-large, marriages and relationships can be repaired and our choosing to dispose of them is often times more selfish than self-preservatory.
More often than not, the marriage dilemma can be addressed with one simple evaluation: Do you value the marriage or relationship more than you value being right? If you value being right over the relationship or the marriage, it will ultimately be the demise of said relationship or marriage. If you value the relationship or marriage more than you value being right, it will often times be that which holds the key to saving the relationship.
As I said to this young man and his bride, I say to you married folks, "May the flowers growing in the garden of your marriage be of a perrenial variety!"
If no one has told you today: I love you, and the world is better with you in it, and your marriage is better with you in it.
Bill Simmons, AIC, CPI, CCI, CASA is the owner of L2 Insurance Consulting LLC, and is a Traveling Property Adjuster with Allstate Insurance. Bill is an industry recognized expert relating to insurance claims and claim related damage. Bill has worked in every aspect of insurance claims from automobile liability and subrogation to property claim specialist, and he has worked both carrier related aspects of insurance claims, for carriers as a staff adjuster and as an independent adjuster. Bill also serves as an expert witness in the insurance claim legal process. Bill lives in Panama City, FL with his wife, Amanda and their two sons, Layton and Lucas.
